ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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