I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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