If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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