piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
