Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
