I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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