Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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