Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry carmicheals hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(718): View more from New York

Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

Fav 3 2427 873
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

Fav 22 8532 1038
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

Fav 10 5252 1291
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either

Fav 11 2636 1008
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.

Fav 11 2741 1006
share tweet
(270): View more from Kentucky

My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.

Fav 4 654 1304
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.

Fav 2 1393 690
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life

Fav 0 105 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..

(1-312): View more from Illinois

Don't judge me.

Fav 0 51 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT