they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
