real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
