P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
try to milk me bitch
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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