She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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