How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
