we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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