ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
