legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
