so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
