totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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