You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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