If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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