I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
