Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
