I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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