I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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