i just google imaged poop.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize