my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize