If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize