she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we're making bets on your personal life
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize