im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
