either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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