I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize