So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
