i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize