i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I look better un-naked...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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