This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
