She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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