i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
