Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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