Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
