oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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