...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
