By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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