Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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