i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize