I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
