ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
