I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
