Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
