Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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