apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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