had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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