My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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