So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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