You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
